Tuesday, July 20, 2010


So here's the thing... I'm going through a divorce (that's old news). I'm purposely not dating until my divorce is final, as a way of honoring God (and obviously taking the appropriate time to heal as much as I can). Obviously I won't be dating until God brings someone into my life, and when I do, I have a STRICT process they will be going through in order to pass through the necessary tests required to date me. That's just the nature of the game coming out of an abusive relationship... the security gates go up waaaay higher. And there is satan threatening me with the lie that I'm not worthy.... but I am ready and willing to declare out in the open that


I have always wanted love, and I still do, and a divorce doesn't change that. I know now that it's not worth it when it's outside of God's will, but that doesn't mean I don't want it INside of God's will. I DO! And whether it's politically correct or morally acceptable for me to be admitting that I want love and I want another husband in the future when I'm not even legally done with the first one, I don't really care anymore, because I want them. And I'm not gonna pretend like I don't just because someone may disapprove. I'm not big on following rules that society makes up. Just the ones in the Bible lol.

With that, I'm obviously upping the stakes a lot higher this time. I'm upping the standards and I'm upping the security. I'm obviously not going to walk down the same road twice. I have LEARNED my lesson, guaranteed. But I'm not going to hide my heart away in a box. That's just not me. I love love, I wanna be in love, and I want to spend the rest of my life with my one true love.

With that said, for some reason somewhat unexplainable to me, I just have this urge to post the things that I most want in my future husband... you know how people encourage you to make lists of what you want in a romantic partner? Yeah...I've done that on occasion... And this time I'm doing it again. I've had so many of these things swirling around in my head and my heart since I've been done with my ex that I just needed to write them all down.... and I feel a lot of peace about them... like this is what God wants me to want. lol. That sounds a little weird, but do you know what I mean? As if these are the standards that God wants me to have. And somewhere inside my heart I have a peace that God is holding in His hands a man who meets all of these standards and is the guy that He meant for me.... which was NOT my ex husband :) lololololol.

So, without boring you with ALL the details, here are some of the major must-haves that I really can't and won't settle for less on:

1) MUST be in love with God more than me and wholly devoted to Him. Always pursuing increased growth and closeness in His relationship with the Lord. Regularly attends church and maintains relationships with other believers.
2) The spiritual leader of our home - someone who initiates regular prayer time and bible study for the two of us together.
3) Involved in some kind of ministry and serving others.
4) Funny
5) Outgoing
6) Has his own friends.
7) Romantic
8) Real - doesn't put on a front with anyone.
9) Loves and wants kids, of course.
10) Supports my calling and involvement in ministry.
11) Has no problem abiding by physical boundaries - even suggests them.
12) Has no problem abiding by my "security gates" - and understands why I have them in place.
13) Will be strong enough to handle any residual issues as a result of my divorce and marriage experience that may come up throughout the course of our relationship.
14) Taller than me, so I feel safe and protected in his embrace.
15) Takes care of himself physically - makes an effort to maintain good exercise and nutrition - as well as emotionally and spiritually.
16) Not materialistic.
17) Established in a profession/career - not still figuring it out.
18) Likes or loves Colorado to the point of being able to live here, own a vacation home, or frequently vacation here.
19) My age or older.
20) Must not be currently engaged in any harmful sin strongholds/patterns that he is not actively trying to get out of.

... they're not THAT bad ;) But they're a lot more well educated and thought out than they used to be!!! I'm thankful for the lessons I've learned that have brought me to having standards like those and the point of being much more strong in sticking to them. Good things come out of bad experiences!! "From everything bad comes good..."

So that's that.... I want love, and those are my standards, lol. I don't know why I felt so compelled to list those here, but I really did!!

Note: Per my last post, I still wish and hope that God might do a miracle so that the Mr. I had to let go and I might be right for each other, but only time will tell, and I'm depending on God and walking in obedience to Him no matter what. However, I will always care for him, even if that never happens.

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