Monday, April 26, 2010


Lately, God has really been answering my whispers. I affectionately use the word "whispers" to refer to those desires of your heart that are consistent, but that you never really pray about. However, God knows they're there. They're those things you make small little mentions of in your head or under your breath. The quick "I wish's" that you don't pray, and you don't consciously think about God paying attention to them. But then, when you're least expecting it, he makes one of those "I wish's" come true - and you are joyfully surprised and thankful :)

I've had several of those happen lately... God answered my "I wish's" for time to spend with him every morning before I start my day, flexibility in my schedule, the opportunity to minister to people I meet through work, the opportunity to meet more sisters and brothers in Christ, for God to divinely place me in the career that He wants me in, and the opportunity to start my own business.

Most of those things are things that I've thought about and wished for once, maybe a few times. Some of them are things that have been desires of my heart for years. But regardless, they have all been whispers, lately - not things I directly prayed recently - and God has been weaving all of them into my life. I am so thankful! It has happened so joyfully.

God divinely intervened in my circumstances in the last week and a half to set me on the path that He has for me during this season in my life. Now, I am completely dependent on Him for my income. But it is also giving me the opportunity to create my own business like I have yearned to do for so long. It also gave me the flexibility in my schedule and the time with Him every morning that I was craving. He provides so perfectly, and He knows exactly what He is doing! He knew that this new direction fits me perfectly. And it's not something I have training in, nor is it something I really ever considered doing - but I have been given glimpses of my ability to do it. That was another whisper of mine. I would hear stories of God divinely directing someone's path and setting them in the career field God wanted them - often times it being something the person didn't go to school for or had no experience in, but God graciously provided and equipped the person and established them firmly in that career field. I feel like that is another whisper that God is answering, and that is such a HUGE blessing. I've been praying for God to show me my purpose and His will for my career for years now, but never felt sure of anything or guided into anything. Slowly but surely, I feel like God is beginning to answer those prayers and put the pieces of the puzzle together. Which is so exciting. I always felt called to a bigger destiny than just working in a cubicle for the corporate "man". I feel more confident now, more happy, excited, grateful that God is going to use me. Praise Jesus :)

In other news, God has really been working the desire of waiting for my future husband into me. Spiritually, physically, relationally... I have a new desire to set myself apart for him that is pure and unforced and unlike anything I've felt on that subject before. Usually, when I would think about that years before, it was because I just wanted God to bring him to me sooner! Pretty silly :) Now I find myself praying for him naturally without even thinking about it, and with no ulterior motives or selfish desires. Whether it's someone I already know or someone I've never met, either way he'll be blessed by me pursuing purity in every sense of the word.

You know what that makes me think? That God CAN restore purity.

Through the years, people would talk to me about my testimony. You know, they would say that God was going to give me a testimony. When I would listen to others share their testimony, I always yearned for God to give me one. But I never felt like I had one, because I was still filled with hurt, pain, and confusion, or because I was still trapped in a sin pattern that I couldn't find the way out of and still believed all of Satan's lies.

But God really is starting to give me a testimony :) And it's one I want to share with the world for His glory.

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