Anticipation

It's time for a new blog post, and I have plenty of fodder to write about, but I'm just not sure what I want to say!

Life has definitely been picking up the pace lately... my calendar is filling up, and I quite like it that way. I am doing things I have wanted to do for years, but just never got around to doing - like volunteering. It feels really good to finally do that and to be able to move it from the "Things I Wish I Was Doing" to the "Things I AM Doing" list. Other things that God is slowly but surely moving onto the right list is making progress in my pursuit of my dream to create a ministry for youth. The big ticket item that God is using for that is an upcoming internship with Heaven Fest/Worship and the Word Movement and a Master's program for nonprofit management. I feel like I am well on my way to the plans God has for using me in ministry. Yet, God is already using me in ministry now, which is also one of those things moving to the right list. He is using me in a performing arts ministry and hopefully will be using me in a youth-centered ministry called YoungLife in the fall. SUPER psyched about that, I love YoungLife. Their camps were a highlight of my experiences with my own high school youth group.

I have definitely been learning a few things in this season. One is that good things come to those who wait. There is a worldly mentality out there that says if you have a dream, go for it - now! Don't wait, don't just dream about it - go do it! Thanks in large part to Nike, this mentality, I think, has become even larger in our society today. Often times, this mistakenly led me to, indeed, try to do it "now." And that led me to trying to create things and start things that it was not God's will for me to start at the time. I also attempted to start them with my own ideas on what it should be or what I wanted it to be - instead of diligently pursuing God's vision for what it should be.

The world would tell us to do whatever we can to sieze our dreams today... but God has taught me the value of obeying the word "wait." After unsuccessfully trying to launch my vision of what I think my business/ministry should be, I have let go and let God fill me with His visions for what He wants for this ministry. And He gave me a vision for something I never would have thought of, but that perfectly fits with my testimony! He gave me a vision that included things I never would have thought of, but that perfectly fit my passions and interests and dreams I've had. God is SO faithful to answer us and lead us in the right directions when we wait on Him. I'm glad I'm learning that lesson now, but it sure would have saved me looking silly through those failed attempts if I'd known that earlier.

The other thing I'm learning, in conjunction with that lesson and also through reading through the life of David in the Bible, is that God rewards obedience. God did so for David, and he's doing that for me too. He rewarded my obedience when he told me to wait and seek Him regarding my next steps in my career by providing me with the direction that I was looking for and allowing that direction to move me closer to the dreams of my heart that he's given me. He's also filled me with peace and His promises. He's blessed me with provision as I've earnestly sought Him.

Even as I've been filled with anticipation for this new season and a bit of anxiety, God has been so so faithful, and I just praise Him for having His hand on this human life of mine. Even as I've imperfectly yet earnestly sought His face, He has answered me and provided.

God DOES make a way through the pain, but it all revolves around seeking His face and living our lives as obediently as we can, to the best of our human ability. We will always make mistakes but God rewards our efforts. And he blesses abundantly, more than we can ask or imagine. Praise Jesus for His blessings!